HOW TO BE A BETTER LOVER (valentines day 2008)

In asking the question, ‘How to be a better lover?’ we are looking at two options: multiple lovers and singular devotion. If we go back to ancient Egyptian times we will see that they had gods of fertility, gods of childbirth, they had moon gods and sun gods; a god for pretty much everything you could need. Today we still make gods out of things that make us feel better. But today’s gods are different, they tend to be gods of beauty, or fame, or financial success, or reputation. But is there a problem in having lots of gods, lots of things that shape our lives, things from which we draw our significance?
As Christians we would say yes, there is a problem. There is only one true God, so quite simply, having lots of gods breaks the first commandment: ‘You must not have any other gods before me.’
‘Ah!’ say the Postmodernists, ‘That is the problem. As soon as you go to church you discover dogmatism, exclusivity, only one God, there is no freedom of choice. We don’t want to hear that stuff. We want freedom.’
But freedom isn’t just choosing what we want, allowing as many things as we like to give us the significance we want. Freedom is operating within the boundaries set by God. The best analogy I can think of to help us understand is that of the pet fish.
You’re very attached to your little pet fish, you’ve had him for years, you’ve had many ups and downs together and he’s always been there for you. And one day you decide, my little fish has never seen life, he’s never run through the autumn leaves, he’s never seen New York in winter, never really lived. So you lift him out of his little tank, pack his overnight case and strap it carefully onto hi back and you fly first class together to see the sights of New York. Have you set you pet fish free? No, you’ve killed him.
Freedom isn’t just breaking away from the things that constrain us, freedom is learning that a full and free life is discovered when you enter into the depths of a love relationship with Jesus Christ. He satisfies our needs, but if we have lots of gods, be they fame, success, beauty, they compete and we become fractured people without focus. We never feel that we have achieved, for when we’re doing fine on the fame front, we’re failing somewhere else.
Take for example a young lady who’s not particularly pretty, but she’s extremely successful in business. What will shape her life, what will give her a sense of significance? Her appearance or her success? Obviously it will be her success. So while she might talk about freedom of choice, freedom to love what she wants to love, to follow the goals she wants to follow, in reality she’s operating within boundaries.
What sin do we commit when we have many gods, when we go after whichever god will best meet our needs? When we pursue gods other than Jesus, when we put other things before him, God says that’s sin.
So what’s the cure?
When Jesus died on the cross he was devoted to one God, his Father. Jesus had every reason to follow another god when he cried out, ‘Why have you forsaken me?’ But he didn’t. He remained unswervingly loyal, devoted to one God. Jesus took our place, he lived the perfect life and he says to us, ‘I lived for you, I died for you, I have pleased God. Receive me and you receive what I have done on your behalf.’
That’s freedom, for then you don’t have to please any other god, for the true God says to you, ‘You’re beautiful, you’re successful, and you’re famous, for every angel in heaven knows your name.
That’s the gospel.
How to be a better lover? Simply love Jesus and be completely satisfied in all he gives.